Do you have the feeling like you’re weighed down emotionally? It’s a fair question that each of us must consider at some point in our lives. We all have had an emotional event or episode in our lives that influences us in such a way that we have difficulty with other people. Unfortunately, we are rarely able to drop that emotional baggage we carry at our emotional doorstep and leave it behind. The result is our failure to move forward in life or when beginning a new relationship. Instead, we often drag that baggage right into our next relationship or life experience.
Instead, we often drag that baggage right into our next relationship or life experience.
Emotional baggage can be a good thing, but it can also be a bad thing if we fail to confront it head-on. Sadly, our negative emotional baggage shows up at the most unexpected times. It can pull us down into an ocean-filled abyss of misery and despair. It can act like two cinder blocks shackled to our ankles. How we manage that emotional baggage is key to our sanity and health of future relationships.
What is Emotional Baggage?
You’ve probably heard this age-old metaphor but may not know what it means to be carrying around emotional baggage. In simple terms, emotional baggage is a representation of all the negative experiences you have encountered within your personal (romantic and non-romantic) and professional relationships. Just like the weight of carrying multiple suitcases on a trip out of town, so emotional baggage weighs us down and makes our travel through life much more difficult.
Robin Hoffman writes in the Huffington Post that we all have emotional baggage. How we allow those experiences to influence our lives is what makes us different. We experience and respond to the highs and lows of a relationship in different ways.
Marcus Aurelius (121-180 AD) wrote, "Most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you'll have more time and more tranquility. Ask yourself at every moment, 'Is it necessary?'"
Most people do not accomplish as much as they truly could if they simply knew how to focus more on the job at hand for a specific amount of time. Being able to focus clearly on a task is important these days is simple because it helps you to get so much more accomplished in that time period. And by focusing you mind totally on the job at hand, you allow the creative juices to flow improving the quality and strength of your work. And focusing on one task for a specific period of time results in less stress resulting in a happier, more contented and tranquil life.
There are so many distractions these days like television, radio, smart phones, social media, and even other people around you. And if you are working on several projects at a time, you often find yourself distracted by those other tasks that also need to get done. Then every thing seems difficult, concentration is lessened and you're unable to keep to one project at a time.
What I'm about to say may sound way too simplistic, but if you focus your attention on one task for a specific amount of time, your brain becomes focused on that task alone allowing you to "git 'er done," as the meme goes. I have found that if I start by removing anything from my desk that does not apply to the work I need to get done, then I am able to keep to that task for a longer period of time. If not, my eye always seems to find something laying around that I "need to do right then." Thus the task I had started doesn't get done.
Focusing on only one task at a time (without distractions), allows you to get through the job and complete it with less errors or mistakes. Some experts indicate that your creativity kicks in easier and you work is of a higher quality when you're focused on one task at a time. You might even find yourself thinking of new ideas about it or perhaps a better way to approach the issue or problem.
Of course, people around you along with all of the other distractions can lower your productivity levels. That then significantly raises your frustration and stress levels. And then you start worry about that and start making mistakes. I have tried to instill this concept in my grandson's mind. But, as you can imagine, being a teenager, he's much more interested in texting his friends and feeling connected. All that is good in maintaining your social connections, but not at the risk of finding yourself constantly stressed out because you're not getting your work done.
Keep your mind on one thing for thirty, forty, or maybe even fifty minutes at a time can greatly increase your task completion rates and lower the overall stress and frustration levels. Then your life will be so much easier to live and even more enjoyable. You will begin to love life fully even more than you do already!
I've got bad news to tell you. The only constant in life is change. That's the only thing you can bank on. That's the only thing you can rely on and can safely come back to again and again. It was true in the past. It's true right now. It will continue to be through long into the future.
Change is the only constant in life and it's a good thing because, with change, we can improve. Change is actually a promise. It doesn't matter how small you feel, how defeated you think you are, and how incompetent, ugly, and desperate things may be to you. With change, you can turn things around. That's what's so awesome about change.
I once met a homeless man on the streets of San Francisco and Los Angeles and I was working for an insurance company and he said something that really blew my mind. It changed my life. He was a guy who just had newspapers as his bed.
Certain people believe they don't deserve good things to happen to them? I know it sounds crazy. I mean who in their right minds would assume that they don't deserve the good things in life.
What kind of cancerous or toxic mental ideas are they suffering from for them to think this way? Believe it or not, this is not rare. Too many people sabotage themselves from achieving success because they believe they do not deserve success.
One common variation of this is thinking all your future success will be beyond your grasp since you screwed up royally in the past. It's just not going to happen. Forget about it. They believe in stigma.
They believe there are certain things you cannot do. If you do it in the past, you're sealed from any kind of success. You are a failure and you will continue to be a failure.
Now, they don't explicitly think about it in these terms but the effect is the same. They can't bring themselves to do something needed and to sacrifice something required for them to achieve great success in life.
Another variation of this is the Impostor Complex. This complex afflicts people who accomplished many things. They know how to write best-selling books. They know how to speak in front of large audiences. They know how to connect with people.
They know how to do the right things at the right time with the right people to produce the very best results. But deep down inside they feel they are impostors, frauds, fakes, hypocrites, or liars. They call this Impostor Complex, and it's real.
In fact, you only know less than Oprah Winfrey, herself who reported that she suffered from Impostor Complex. Deep down inside, it goes back to the same place. It goes to this burning idea of not deserving success.
There are so many moving parts that chances are you probably will only be good at one thing or two things if you're lucky. What do you do with the rest of the picture? Do you try to do a half-assed job with the rest of the pieces?
Your success is the sum of its parts and more. If you have only two good parts and the rest is junk, what do you think will happen? Successful people focus on their core competency. They focus on what they're good at.
These are the linchpins of their success. For everything else, they ask for help. Help can come in many forms. You can delegate. You can outsource. You can collaborate. You can put up things for discussion and brainstorming and then come up with implementations.
Herb Sennett writes about life and how to enjoy it more.