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​Boosting Your Self Confidence

2/26/2019

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Nobody is born with a limitless supply of self-confidence. Those who seem to have incredible confidence have worked extremely hard for years to build it. Self-confidence is something that you learn to build up because life tends to deflate it. Along with the outside influences that can affect our self-esteem, we also have to deal with the inner critic that is continually telling us we aren't good enough. Here are five things that you can do to help boost your self-confidence. 
Question Your Inner Critic
Some of the harshest comments that we hear come from ourselves, via our inner critic. When your inner critic becomes overactive and inaccurate, you may start to suffer from low self-esteem. To help combat your inner critic, look for evidence to support or deny the things that it is saying to you. Find opportunities to compliment, congratulate, and reward yourself, even for your smallest accomplishments. ​

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Things That will Sap Self-Confidence

1/21/2019

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Your self-confidence is a tenuous thing. One minute you are on top of the world, and the next, you feel like a walking pile of garbage. You may not realize that the little, everyday things of life can affect your self-confidence in a big way. Although many factors can influence your self-confidence, here are what I believe could be the top five things that can negatively impact your confidence.

Not Eating and Drinking Properly
When it comes to our moods, research has shown that we are what we eat. A diet that is packed with nutrients can help to reduce any anxiety that we are feeling, boost our mood, and help you feel more confident. If your diet is currently loaded with sugar and caffeine, you will experience severe mood swings and energy spikes that can lead to a dip in how you feel about yourself. ​

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how to handle emotional baggage

12/12/2018

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Do you have the feeling like you’re weighed down emotionally? It’s a fair question that each of us must consider at some point in our lives. We all have had an emotional event or episode in our lives that influences us in such a way that we have difficulty with other people. Unfortunately, we are rarely able to drop that emotional baggage we carry at our emotional doorstep and leave it behind. The result is our failure to move forward in life or when beginning a new relationship. Instead, we often drag that baggage right into our next relationship or life experience.
​Instead, we often drag that baggage right into our next relationship or life experience.
Emotional baggage can be a good thing, but it can also be a bad thing if we fail to confront it head-on. Sadly, our negative emotional baggage shows up at the most unexpected times. It can pull us down into an ocean-filled abyss of misery and despair. It can act like two cinder blocks shackled to our ankles. How we manage that emotional baggage is key to our sanity and health of future relationships.
What is Emotional Baggage?
You’ve probably heard this age-old metaphor but may not know what it means to be carrying around emotional baggage. In simple terms, emotional baggage is a representation of all the negative experiences you have encountered within your personal (romantic and non-romantic) and professional relationships. Just like the weight of carrying multiple suitcases on a trip out of town, so emotional baggage weighs us down and makes our travel through life much more difficult.
Robin Hoffman writes in the Huffington Post that we all have emotional baggage. How we allow those experiences to influence our lives is what makes us different. We experience and respond to the highs and lows of a relationship in different ways.

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focus - the key to contentment

11/18/2018

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Marcus Aurelius (121-180 AD) wrote, "Most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you'll have more time and more tranquility. Ask yourself at every moment, 'Is it necessary?'"
     Most people do not accomplish as much as they truly could if they simply knew how to focus more on the job at hand for a specific amount of time. Being able to focus clearly on a task is important these days is simple because it helps you to get so much more accomplished in that time period. And by focusing you mind totally on the job at hand, you allow the creative juices to flow improving the quality and strength of your work. And focusing on one task for a specific period of time results in less stress resulting in a happier, more contented and tranquil life.
     There are so many distractions these days like television, radio, smart phones, social media, and even other people around you. And if you are working on several projects at a time, you often find yourself distracted by those other tasks that also need to get done. Then every thing seems difficult, concentration is lessened and you're unable to keep to one project at a time.
    What I'm about to say may sound way too simplistic, but if you focus your attention on one task for a specific amount of time, your brain becomes focused on that task alone allowing you to "git 'er done," as the meme goes. I have found that if I start by removing anything from my desk that does not apply to the work I need to get done, then I am able to keep to that task for a longer period of time. If not, my eye always seems to find something laying around that I "need to do right then." Thus the task I had started doesn't get done.
      Focusing on only one task at a time (without distractions), allows you to get through the job and complete it with less errors or mistakes. Some experts indicate that your creativity kicks in easier and you work is of a higher quality when you're focused on one task at a time. You might even find yourself thinking of new ideas about it or perhaps a better way to approach the issue or problem.
     Of course, people around you along with all of the other distractions can lower your productivity levels. That then significantly raises your frustration and stress levels. And then you start worry about that and start making mistakes. I have tried to instill this concept in my grandson's mind. But, as you can imagine, being a teenager, he's much more interested in texting his friends and feeling connected. All that is good in maintaining your social connections, but not at the risk of finding yourself constantly stressed out because you're not getting your work done.
     Keep your mind on one thing for thirty, forty, or maybe even fifty minutes at a time can greatly increase your task completion rates and lower the overall stress and frustration levels. Then your life will be so much easier to live and even more enjoyable. You will begin to love life fully even more than you do already!

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You're Not Perfect--it's Okay!

11/12/2018

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     ​There are so many songs telling you you're perfect just the way you are. There are so many self-help books telling you that there's really nothing to change. There is definitely no shortage of motivational speakers who tell you, "You are complete."
     You need to set all that aside. In fact, if I wasn't being polite I would call them lies because that's what they are. They are lies because the more you believe in that, the more you wall yourself off from a meaningful change in your life.

     I've got bad news to tell you. The only constant in life is change. That's the only thing you can bank on. That's the only thing you can rely on and can safely come back to again and again. It was true in the past. It's true right now. It will continue to be through long into the future.
     ​Change is the only constant in life and it's a good thing because, with change, we can improve. Change is actually a promise. It doesn't matter how small you feel, how defeated you think you are, and how incompetent, ugly, and desperate things may be to you. With change, you can turn things around. That's what's so awesome about change.
     I once met a homeless man on the streets of San Francisco and Los Angeles and I was working for an insurance company and he said something that really blew my mind. It changed my life. He was a guy who just had newspapers as his bed.

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​ Disclaimer: The information presented is for informational purposes only. It is based on scientific studies, clinical experience, or traditional usage as cited in each article. The results reported may not necessarily occur in all individuals. For many of the conditions discussed, treatment with prescription or over-the-counter medication is also available. Consult your doctor (physician), practitioner, and/or pharmacist for any health problem and before using any supplements or before making any changes in prescribed medications. It could be dangerous to immediately cease taking psychiatric drugs because of potential significant withdrawal side effects. No one should stop taking any psychiatric drug without the advice and assistance of a competent, medical doctor.
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